Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's shark week go big or go home
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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