Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
