So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
