Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
