some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
