Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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