My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
