I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
