It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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