It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
