I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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