I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
