I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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