in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
