i wish my penis had a tongue
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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