saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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