Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
