doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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