Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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