I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Even my vagina gasped.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You pole danced in your parka.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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