this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
