I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
