Dual....:-)
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
