Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can text with my tongue
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
