chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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