a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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