first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
