Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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