Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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