SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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