i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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