My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Everclear isn't food dammit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
