I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
