I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
