So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
