yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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