Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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