remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
