do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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