just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
