I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
