Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
