OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
