dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
