Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Watching her eat just hurts me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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