Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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