too bad you live with your parents still
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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