She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
