break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
