so let's talk penis.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
